Why You’re Not Getting Happier
Despite advances in technology, healthcare, and living standards, people aren’t getting happier.
This paradox can largely be blamed on envy.
So, let’s break it down…
I’ve been pondering this and came up with a simple equation:
Happiness = Quality of Life — Envy.
No matter how high your quality of life, envy can significantly diminish your happiness.
Constantly comparing yourself to others undermines your satisfaction, making your achievements feel small.
Consider the Monaco Grand Prix.
It’s not just about the race; it’s about who has the biggest yacht.
A millionaire’s yacht looks impressive until a billionaire parks next to them with an even bigger yacht.
No matter the game, someone will always appear “ahead” of you.
This relentless pursuit of others’ successes will always leave you dissatisfied.
Theodore Roosevelt put it best in these kinds of situations:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
No matter what you achieve, if you focus on your neighbor, you’ll always be disappointed.
In my own experience, I’ve met people making $40k a year who are the happiest in the room, and others making $400k who are miserable because they’re constantly comparing themselves.
They rob their own emotional bank. Every happy deposit is withdrawn by envy.
Envy is the real pandemic.
A Russian proverb highlights this best: A farmer finds a magical lamp.
A genie offers one wish, and the farmer, envious of his neighbor’s cow, wishes for the neighbor’s cow to die.
This highlights envy’s destructive nature — it’s more satisfying to see others lose than to gain ourselves.
Instead of envy, use others’ accomplishments as inspiration.
Let their success motivate you, not diminish you. Envy is destructive; inspiration is constructive.
The achievements of others prove that anything is possible, but you won’t achieve anything if you keep comparing and complaining.
That 18-year-old “crypto drop shipping millionaire bro” on TikTok driving a Lamborghini through Miami?
It’s rented. He’s posturing. You’re comparing yourself to a fake life.
Girls compare themselves to Instagram models with 10 million followers, forgetting the mix of genetics, plastic surgery, and filters behind the facade.
This comparison leads to spikes in depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation among teens.
When it comes to situations like these, one of the most underrated skills is strategic ignorance.
Mute anyone online who doesn’t teach you something new, make you laugh, or someone you want to see in the next six months.
This will massively decrease envy.
If that doesn’t work, shift your perspective.
Remember that people glued to their phones, constantly updating their status, reveal the hollowness behind the glamour.
Recognizing the stressful effort behind these curated moments can lessen envy and increase empathy.
If neither of these strategies work, whip out the “Bragging Razor”.
If someone brags about their success or happiness, assume it’s half what they claim.
On the other hand, if someone downplays their success or happiness, assume it’s double.
Remember, the map (social media portrayal) is not the terrain (reality).
In the end, envy is a negative-sum game. It harms both the envier and the envied.
Holding onto envy is like clutching a burning rock — you get hurt until you throw it at someone else, hurting them too.
Businessman Charlie Munger said it best:
“Envy is a really stupid sin because it’s the only one you could never possibly have any fun at. There’s a lot of pain and no fun.”
Envy brings pain without pleasure, making it utterly pointless and destructive.
So, if you want to be happy, drop envy.
Thank you for reading!
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